Touring the Epworth Rectory I was reminded how important
Suzanna Wesley was related to the personal and spiritual formation of her
children. She took seriously her role as mother, teacher, and spiritual
advisor. She laid the theological foundations that two of her sons, John and
Charles, would build the Methodist movement upon. Suzanna knew that as their
parent she was their most important spiritual and theological mentor. She had a
profound understanding that what was
modeled in the family home would be
repeated the rest of their lives. She also knew that the rest of their life the
children would reflect the spiritual life of the home they were raised in. Essentially,
Suzanna Wesley provides us with a model to follow to be a parent to raise
children who will change the world.
The most important spiritual mentor in your child’s life is
the parent. The average child raised in a spiritual “active” Christian family
spends about thirty hours in Sunday School or Children’s Church each year,
about 1,000 hours in school, and typically spends more than 3,000 hours in the
home with their parents. So rather than chasing flashy kid’s programming for
your children you should be focused on living a Christian life that includes
family prayer time, regular devotions, frequent spiritual conversations, and
active mission engagement as a family. You should be a family on mission. If you want your child to escape the cultural trend of
children being less spiritually engaged than their parents you have to live an
active spiritual life in front of them and involving them. While this may not
guarantee that your children won’t abandon their faith, it becomes
significantly less likely. As the Proverb reminds us, “raise up a child in the
way they should go and when they are old, they will not depart from it.” That
doesn't mean that when they are young they won’t stray, but the spiritual seed
of the gospel will be waiting to blossom when the time is right. John and
Charles watched as their mother taught hundreds of people in Bible studies at
her kitchen table. They observed her practice the faith she proclaimed and they
would go on to proclaim the faith she practiced.
What is modeled in the home gets repeated. The Wesley
children spent dedicated time with their mother in one-on-one discipleship each
week. So intense was the instruction that they were trained in Greek, Hebrew,
math, and writing before they were adolescents. Long before the current “home school”
movement, Suzanna was instructing her children, both boys and girls, to think
for themselves and preparing them for the world. They were so prepared that the
three boys left home to move to boarding school at the age of ten. By this age
they had already made deep spiritual commitments, were dedicated to regular
worship, and knew how to interact with people of a variety of economic and
social levels. The behavior modeled by Suzanna being socially
The power of the child’s spiritual life is a direct
reflection of the parent’s commitments. John Wesley would go on to be an
innovator in embracing women in ministry, in practicing social justice, and in
encouraging education for children. All of these he learned sitting at the
table under the instruction of his mother. While we can’t be sure how much
impact his father had upon his education, because Samuel was often away for
long periods of time, we know that for the rest of his life he made an effort
to live the life his mother had first modeled for him. As he grew older his
regular correspondence with his mother saw him asking for advice and seeking
counsel from this woman of deep faith. His affection was so deep for his mother
that when she died he had her buried just across the street from his home so
that he could look upon her grave and remember her words of wisdom.
So the next time you are tempted to run off and find flashy
children’s ministry for your children, remember that no matter how great the
entertainment those ministries provide, the real molding of your child’s
spiritual life happens in your home. We, as parents, provide the foundation for
our children to build their life of faith upon. If the foundation we lay is
weak, our children’s spiritual lives will crumble. If it is sound, when times
get tough, they will return to the faith of their mothers (and hopefully their fathers)
to find God. The best thing we can do as spiritual leaders is disciple mothers
and fathers to live a faithful, missional, and committed Christian life as a
disciple.
Pray for me that I live out the life before my children that leads them to Christ. I remain:
Consumed by the Call,
Marty
