I have had quite a few conversations recently with folks who
are asking the “Who am I?” type question. This existential crisis reoccurs
during any time of real life challenge
or personal struggle. Any time your role changes or your world shifts it
reawakens the uncertainty of personal identity. I have been facing this as I
strive to live into a “new normal” that keeps shifting and changing. I have
less energy, less stamina, and sometimes I’d much rather just stay in bed than
get up and face the world. I have always been a high energy, over-achiever. I
have always taken on challenging roles with a passion. I have always thought
that I was defined by my roles in life; my role as a father, husband, pastor,
speaker, etc. Now with new limitations I’m becoming aware that my roles may
eventually change. Does that mean I will lose who I am when I have lost what I
can do? No. I have come to realize over the past few years that the question
really isn’t “Who am I?” The question needs to be “Whose am I?”
My real identity comes from Genesis 1:27, where the
scripture tells me that I was created in the “imago Dei,” the image of God. As
a child in the image of God my identity is not bound to a role I play but in
whose I am and who I have allowed to form me. Over and over the scripture
reminds me that my identity is a gift from God, a gift of grace, not earned or
deserved. That my present reality and my future destiny are in the hands of the
one who has “the whole world in His hands.” Those are the very hands that
formed me in my mother’s womb, who knew me before I was born, and who wrote my
name in “the book.” Those were the hands that were nailed to the cross and by
His stripes my healing has already been paid for. My identity is not bound to
the job I have or the roles I play but to the God I serve who loved me long
before I loved him.
But the world deforms my identity. In so many ways people
and circumstances seek to define me in the image they desire for me. It’s not
just me. I have spoken to so many people who were the victims of abusive
relationships and that relationship keeps striving to define who they are long
after it has ended. Long after the woman has escaped the manipulative abuser of
her youth, the voice of that person still haunts her. Long after my own father
has died, I sometimes still find myself allowing myself to be defined by his
absence and my attempts to overcompensate. The world that is separated from God
keeps trying to define me. On those days when I forget that my identity is
founded in God and grounded in Christ’s life, death, and resurrection, I allow
those voices to have power over me. Before long I begin defining my identity by
my tasks, my roles, my job rather than by the presence of Christ within me and
the hands of God that formed me. Christ came to transform my identity (and your
identity) back to who God made me to be. I am known and loved by the Creator of
the universe.
Which brings up your understanding of “Who is God?” This is
a huge question. When Jesus was confronted with this question He told a story.
Remember in Luke 15 the story of the lost sons? Oh, you probably heard it as
the story of the Prodigal Son, but that is only one piece of the three-piece
narrative. The story is also about how both brothers had a skewed and deformed
idea about who their dad really was and about who they were. One thought that
he couldn’t be loved because he made a huge life mistake. The other thought he
could only be loved if he worked hard to deserve the father’s affection. Both
were wrong. The father (God) loved them because they were his children. He
loved them because of whose they were, not who they were. Their identity was
not in what they did or did not do, not in the roles they played but in who
their dad was.
This story has really captured my imagination in recent
days. It affirms something that I have struggled with since I was a child. It
tells me that my identity (and your identity) cannot be defined by my personal
achievements, awards, or what role I play unless I allow it to be. My true
identity is in Christ. The Bible tells us that by His sacrifice we have become
“joint heirs,” that we are fully embraced and totally loved children of God. Then
we are free to pursue what God calls us to do and to be, not limited by the
constraints and confines of others. Real freedom comes from a life of complete surrender.
Every “accomplishment” becomes an act of thanksgiving to God who loves us
unconditionally. What you doe matters! What matters more is who you do it for.
So the question really isn’t “Who am I?” It is “Whose am I?”
Whoever you are giving the power to define you is your own
personal version of “god.” Do not give the power to define you to your past.
Sure you have made mistakes, maybe huge, gigantic, overwhelming mistakes, but
even though those mistakes may have consequences, they do not define you. Do
not give the power to define you over to painful relationships. Yes, people
have used your vulnerability as a weapon; they have been hurtful, manipulative,
and maybe even abusive. If you have been in that situation, get professional
help. But I want to remind you that this relationship does not have the power
to define you; your identity is not defined by who that person is, but it is
defined by whose you are—a beloved child of God. Do not give the power to
define you over to your present circumstances. It may be a dark day, but the
one who brought light into the world seeks to welcome you and re-define you by
reminding you that Christ is alive in you and seeks to transform you.
