If you are looking for a book to give to couples who are preparing for marriage or dealing with intimacy issues I would recommend Sheet Music by Kevin Lehem. Lehem does a good job at balancing practical and applicable advice with an understanding of the Christian faith. He is direct and clear with his information and instruction. He uses humor and real life case studies to illustrate the importance of an active and engaged sex life as a key component to a successful relationship.
This is not a book for kids. This is a book for adults and it is about sex inside the context of marriage. The content is respectful of the reader but is explicit.
This morning in worship we talked about being so busy that we forget to give God time in our life. Below is an article about seven things to do to simplify your life. What needs to be on your list in order to simplify your life?
Matthew 5:13-15//Math. 28:18-20//John 10:21//Acts 1:11
If you aren't changing the world you are wasting God's time.
Three Cautions for 2010 Graduates:
1. You are not as smart as you think you are. A youtube video does not make you an expert. Today you are ready to conquer the world, but you can't even balance your checkbook. God is going to put into your life many people who want to invest in you, encourage you, and instruct you. Mentors, professors, and guides who have traveled the road that you are on and can help you navigate it successfully. A recent study showed that young people 18-25 spend almost no time with people over 30, they surround themselves with each other and then reinforce their limited understanding about the world. If you are serious about being who God has called you to be then you have to heed the scriptural mandate to embrace learning from those who are older than you. Sure, you may not agree with them, they may seem out of touch, but they have an array of life lessons they can share with you, relational skills, and experiences that could inform and shape you and allow you to expand your worldview, but you have to be willing to learn.
In Jesus' day this would be the time when you would choose a rabbi. Somebody to walk with, learn from, and follow for up to fifteen years. Learning does not stop with a piece of paper, learning takes place until you die. Learning isn't a phase in your life, learning needs to be your life. Either you are learning or you are dying, that’s it, your choice. The pace of change in our world demands that you keep learning, that you learn from those ahead of you, older and with more experience. That you learn from people beside you, your peers and friends. That you even learn from those behind you, those younger. I would not be able to use my cell phone or work Facebook if I wasn't willing to learn from those who are younger than me.
2. You have far more opportunity than you can imagine. You are the most connected, diverse, accepting, and courageous generation in history. You have at your disposal the ability to make contact with people around the world at a touch of a button. You are not linear thinkers, which really drives your parents crazy by the way, you think in webs and networks, in relationships and interrelationships, in spirit as much as in fact. Most of you have more technology in your pocket than was available during the first manned moon landing. Do you think that God has placed you in this time in history for your entertainment? Opportunity is not opportunity until it us used to improve the lives of others. If it is selfish, it is greed and consumption.
Sure you have challenges, challenges like the AIDS pandemic that is ravaging 2/3s of the world, wars over oil and ideology, the erosion of the Christian faith as a set of precepts universally agreed upon by culture. With each challenge is the opportunity for you to decide whether you will be part of the solution, or be part of the problem. Being salt calls you to solve the problems!
3. You have a divine calling upon your life that God has uniquely placed within you and will lay out for you, but you don't get to know it all at once. I want you to notice that I said calling, not destiny. We have some sort of warped "Star Wars" idea that we have a destiny. The idea of destiny is rooted in Greek and Roman mythology and has no scriptural foundation. Calling, however is uniquely biblical. God is a God who calls God's people to do incredible and impossible things. You have a calling, it challenge that God will unveil to you to do something incredible and impossible, but it won't be easy. In our world of EasyMac Christianity, we like everything in bullet points and Sparknotes, but that isn't life, that isn't a calling, that’s a bad term paper. Life is a process of encounters with God, revelations from God, and challenges laid out by God that can determine whether or not you live a life of meaning or a life of meaninglessness. Here is the thing, you will have to choose. Some of you will take the easy road, not rise to the challenge, not be willing to do the hard work of changing the world. You will complain and whine that life is tough and that it’s not fair. But some of you, maybe just one or two, will accept God's challenge for your life, you will launch out in bold spiritual adventures. Sure, you may fail, everybody fails, but if you aren't failing sometimes, you aren't trying anything that is God sized!
You need to be in the world. You can't change the world from your safe Xian bubble.
Three kinds of spiritual callings your generation is being called to commit to:
The Missional Calling: serve the poor and hurting unconditionally. So often the work we do with people who are hurting has an agenda driving it. We don't care as much about their pain as we do convincing them that our way of life is right. We aren't interested in feeding their children; we just want their children in Sunday School. Did it ever occur to you that Jesus' most powerful moments of ministry were in the marketplace, at the seashore, in the streets? His healings were rarely in the synagogue, the church of that day, they were usually in the streets. He didn't call his disciples off of comfortable pews, he called them while they were working, collecting taxes, mending nets, working hard. God help a church with soft hands and hard hearts!
The Monastic Calling: live simply and reject consumerism. You are not what you buy. We have let culture tell us that we are defined by what we own, by what we purchase, by the car we drive, the clothes we wear, the house we live in. Do you read the Bible? When Jesus sent disciples out, he sent them out with empty hands and open hearts. No extra shoes, not extra coat, just the faith that God had called them to do a great work. Some of your parents will have to rent U-Hauls to carry your junk to school in a couple of months. The things you have to have. Then, when you get there, you will go to Target and buy more stuff, cause that stuff isn’t enough stuff, and you must get more stuff to go with that stuff. Then you will cram it in every corner and cranny of your dorm room and complain that you don't have enough room, so you will go rent a storage unit to put the stuff in that you don't need right now, then you will forget you have it and go buy--you got it--more stuff.
The Mosaic Calling: embrace diversity with intensity. Quit hanging out only with people who affirm your worldview and engage people who will challenge you. I remember when I was studying Social Work that it dawned on me, that I didn't really have friends as much as I had a support group. I only associated, invested time with, and developed "friendships" with people who affirmed my worldview. Jesus had a word for people like me, hypocrite. You know why we only associate with people who affirm what we think? We are afraid. What if they are right, and I am wrong. What if my worldview is messed up and I discover that there might be another way of looking at the world. Or worse, what if I don't like their ideas but I learn to love them as a person? Can you really be friends with somebody who you disagree with?
I have for you a ridiculous gift, but one I hope you will take to college with you and put on the corner of your desk. Sit it on your dresser, put it in your medicine cabinet. It is salt, it is you. Salt in a saltshaker has untapped potential, on graduation day it will be your turn to get out of the saltshaker and make a difference. God grant you the desire to follow Christ wherever you are lead, the wisdom to hear your calling, and the courage to get out of the saltshaker and shake things up!
21Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." John 10
This will be an occasional series of reflections about why I know that I will never make it as a mega-church pastor. Since there are probably hundreds of reasons, this set of blogs could go on for a long time. Today we discuss reason number one why I will never be a mega-church pastor: coolness. I am just not cool enough to be a mega-church pastor. I don't wear cool screen printed shirts, spike my hair with gel, or have those cool "Rob Bell" glasses. While I do occasionally get carried away while preaching, I'd never intentionally use blatant and combative profanity when speaking. I know that I don't have all the answers so that precludes me from having the power of the all-knowing cool guy. Also, I am not cool enough to present material in a way and make you feel empowered and like an idiot at the same time. I would also not intentionally look like I forgot to shave or comb my hair when I showed up on Sunday morning to lead worship.
Don't misunderstand me, not all mega-church pastors pass this "cool" test. Andy Stanely actually comes across as, well, kind of a really smart, nerd. He is an incredible leader who doesn't try to be cool. But as I have scanned upcoming ministry conferences seeking to find teaching applicable to transitioning the church I serve to the next level I have come across page after page of white men (well at least 90% of them are white men) who have lots of cool points. Here is an example of a leadership conference that is heavy on the cool points: http://www.newspring.cc/leadershipconference/ (yes I know Francis Chan is not white, but he has awesome cool points!). Will this conference have valuable information? Sure! Will it have rocking Jesus music, terrific video, lighting effects, and gourmet coffee, no doubt. Do I really want to be the person who measures ministry by those standards, I hope not.
I have spent a year back in local church ministry and it is just as tough as I remembered it. There are days when it is like pushing a boulder, up hill. We are an awkward sized church, underfunded, and with wildly fluctuating attendance. We are having to re-establish working systems and re-vision our future while being understaffed and over-busy. But there are some days, when I baptize a child, welcome a believer into the kingdom of God, or just embrace a friend that I remember that God calls us to be the people of God where we are, and not to aspire to be who we are not. Lack of coolness, the #1 reason I'll never be a mega-church pastor.
I love the "Get a Mac" ad campaign from Apple but they recently announced an end to the campaign. To celebrate the end of an amazing Apple era, here is a great mash-up of some of their best ads:
I take Sunday morning seriously. It is the time when you have the greatest opportunity to share the soul transforming message of Christ with several people at once. Because I take Sunday seriously, I believe in planning. A long time ago in a conference the speaker reminded us that if you "fail to plan, you plan to fail." A plan isn't a concrete task, it is a roadmap. It can be adjusted and the course can be changed if situations arise, but the plan does provide a skeleton to build upon.
Each year I take a holistic look at the calendar and decide what themes, core values, seasonal concurrences, and other factors will influence worship development and message preparation and lay out a preaching calendar based upon this information. It then becomes clear what themes are getting overemphasized and what theological or spiritual concepts need more attention. It also allows me to plan when I will be away. Here is the form that I use to lay out my preaching year. I present it to our Covenant Council so they can see where we will be journeying in the coming year and can add their input and support.
Like I said, it is a plan, and plans can be changed. I hope you find it a useful addition to your tool box.
For years I have been lamenting what I call "sanctified spiritual consumerism." You know the deal, you go to a big conference, watch the cool stuff they do, buy the mega-church's package and try to recreate it in your home church. You ignore any study of your indigenous culture and charge in with a pre-packages, performance based worship service that works extremely well for somebody else. When I saw the video from the DRIVE Conference I had to share it. It captures the essence and idiocy of what I've been saying for years!
Do your homework! No more "sanctified spiritual consumerism!" Marty
Several of my friends are moving to serve new churches this year. I am very excited for some of the opportunities that they have received. While talking with them they have asked for what I think they should do to make a successful transition into their new place of ministry. Here are some of the things I have told them:
1. Pray daily for both the congregation you are leaving and the one where you will be next. Engage your family in that prayer. Ask God for clarity or purpose, an open heart to new people, places, and ideas. Spend as much time listening for the voice of God as you do talking to (or at) God.
2. Do you homework. Before you arrive on the ground in your new community you should have a thorough understanding of the demographics and sociology of the community you will be serving. Start a notebook with information from the local chamber of commerce, they county government offices, the census data, and any other source where you can learn about the community. You should know about the schools, the community culture, and the biggest event in the area. You need to be an expert about your new community.
3. Do your homework. Visit the denomination website and begin compiling records of worship and giving. Go through previous Annual Conference Journals and gather as much information as possible, taking it all with a grain of salt. I like to compile a ten to twenty year trending church that shows the worship attendance and annual giving data on a graph so I can see how the congregation is fairing over time.
4. If possible, take the last week or two before you move as vacation time. Unless it is already on the books and paid for, I do not take vacation until Thanksgiving at a new church. It is absolutely imperative that you arrive fresh, rested, and ready to hit the ground running. Use your lay speakers or those in your district for theses two weeks. Schedule any “good bye” events late in May or early in June so that you can ease away gracefully.
5. Contact the new church representative assigned to assist with the transition and ask for the newest picture director and/or have them take new digital pictures of your congregation and send them to you. Ask them to identify the persons in the photos and tell you something about them. This serves two functions, first, you begin memorizing the faces and names of your new people. Secondly, they occasionally tell you things that you need to know but would not know to ask (like who used to be married to whom, or who used to be on staff but isn’t any longer).
6. When you pack, designate A, B, and C boxes. A boxes are absolute essentials. These are the “unpack now so you can live” boxes. B boxes are essentials but can wait a day or two, C boxes will be unpacked when you get around to it and can wait a week or so if need be. Clearly mark the boxes so that you can tell them where to put each stack.
7. In churches with a lot of shut-ins or seniors, begin a process of visiting by asking your contact for the person who will be your partner for the first several weeks and visit at the same time weekly with that person. I have been at St. Paul for a year and I still visit for four hours every week with my visitation partner. She has become my pastoral right hand and has assisted me in avoiding several pastoral issues. Consistency of time and practice (notice it is a tithe of my “work” time) with a partner shows how much you care about the people and provides you with an accountability structure.
8. Schedule lunches with every key leader between July 1 and September 1, and you buy. Ask them leading questions like, “tell me the story of ________ Church,” or “what are the biggest challenges that we face?” Also, during the lunch, I always ask them to tell me about their personal spiritual journey and ask them to pray for me daily. When I get back home I send them a thank you note for their time and insight.
9. Write the 12 best sermons of your life. Spend at least ten hours a week (now you are up to 14 not including lunches) preparing the best messages about the mission and purpose of a Christian community that you can preach. Like it or not, we are measured by our communication ability. This is not the time to re-hash old material, it is time to customize the message God gives you for the people God gives you to serve. I know, so many of your people will be gone during the summer, but those who are committed will be there and they need to know that you take the proclamation of the Word seriously. A word to those who struggle in this area, a wise preacher once told me, “if you preach badly, preach briefly.” If this is not your primary gift area, spend your time preparing the best twelve-minute, one point, scripturally grounded message you can. One razor sharp, focused point is far better than three fuzzy ones.
10. Set boundaries early and practice spiritual disciplines. Make it clear which twenty-four hours is your Sabbath. While you need to be available for emergencies, you need to model what your want practiced. I present my leaders with a chart like the one below that outlines that I will be available at least twelve units a week. That means I will work ten units (like the typical 40 hour job) and two additional because I expect them to worship one unit and serve one unit a week as well. You have to model what you expect.
11. Be flexible. God is going to present you some amazing opportunities. I make it a point to accept every dinner, dessert, tea, or social invitation I can. Meeting with people in a “non-churched” environment is essential to really get to know and love those whom God has called you to serve.
12. Be invitational. Everywhere you go look to make friends with people who are not connected to Christ or a local church. As the new pastor in the community it is a great opportunity to invite folks to come and see what’s going on. Additionally, your modeling an invitational lifestyle will give you credibility when you begin asking the people in your church to do the same.
The time of transition sets the bar for everything you will do during your time in a new congregation. Let us be those that Wesley envisioned when he wrote, “Give me 100 preachers who fear nothing but sin and desire nothing but God, and I care not a straw whether they be clergymen or laymen, such alone will shake the gates of hell and set up the Kingdom of God upon earth” (Letters, VI, 272).
This video is for all of my young adult friends who skateboard. I watch this and was amazed by the tenacity of this young man to get this jump. Over and over again he crashes, then he gets up, walks it off, and tries again.
Last year at Catalyst Dave Ramsey spent some time explaining his "momentum theorem." He said that to create momentum the equation is Focused Intensity over Time multiplied by the Spirit of God.
Focused intensity is by far the hardest part in our world of distractions and instant gratification. It is so easy to want to follow whatever the "newest" and "latest" idea is rather than focus the intensity in a single direction.
This young man understand that it takes focused intensity and the willingness to fail multiple times until you get it right. We as believers must embrace the idea that a failure is only is a step toward where God wants us to go and to get up, walk it off, and try again! Don't quit!
Another video related to why I still believe in the church.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I am researching the keynote address I will be giving for the Faith Christian School baccalaureate address next week where I will challenge the graduates to be "in the world." To realize that God has called them to be missionaries, not closeted Christians who surround themselves with people who only affirm what they already think. Below is part of that research by church planter, researcher, and author Michael Frost. Part of his thesis is grounded in this quote, “Your missional effectiveness is directly proportional to your relational capacity.”
I believe in the holy, catholic church...what does it mean to believe in an organization that has done so much good, and so much evil? Here is a brief video that encapsulates all of church history and asks, "what's next?"
This is a good article about why you may not be seeking spiritual growth. Like I have said many times, in our instant access, microwave culture, we are unwilling to put in the time and effort for real growth.
