Sunday, September 25, 2005

Waiting on the Bus

Waiting on the Bus…

I am not a good waiter. I don’t like to wait. I will scan the grocery lanes to find the shortest one often opting for the self-serve lane to just do it myself. Of course I inevitably get behind somebody who has never done it before and has about five hundred items.

I find myself at a strange place in my life. I have this strange feeling of waiting. I can’t really define what I’m waiting for but Jordan (my son) and I had a conversation last night about having the feeling that we are waiting for something. Some change, some development, some new and improved direction.

Right now, however, I’m waiting. I’m living in a house that isn’t really “mine.” It doesn’t feel like “home,” though I’m not really sure what “home” feels like. I’m still spending a lot of time learning the complexities of the organization I have been called to serve and the part of it that I have been chosen to lead. I’m waiting.

This reminds me of a lot of times when I was a child that my mother used to say, “Don’t wish your life away.” I was always looking longingly into the horizon and dreaming of another day. I would dream of another day, one better than today, one that was brighter and more settled.

There is a lot in the scripture about waiting. Jacob/Israel comes to mind as God allowed his unscrupulous Laben, to cause him to wait seven years for a wife then deceive him and have him wait another seven. Jacob learned to wait and it changed him. He spent that time wisely, preparing and learning.

So, I guess that is what I’ll spend my time doing. Preparing and learning. Tomorrow I begin a doctoral program to continue learning. I want to use this time, the time where I feel like I am waiting on the bus, to learn and allow God to speak to me. So that when the next phase comes I will be prepared to live like I am:

Lost in Grace,

Marty
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