Monday, September 19, 2005

Being Sick...

Being Sick…

I’m not very good at being sick. In all actuality I stink at it.  Today I came home for the first time in over a year sick. My knees were wobbly, I had a serious headache and just felt horrible. The worst part of being sick is the inability to really do anything about it. So I came home and crawled in the bed and slept for about two hours. When I woke up I didn’t really feel any better and was still very weak. That is a feeling I despise.

I am a product of the American culture, though I wish it were not so. I came up with the “pull yourself up by your bootstrap” mentality. That is why I have such a hard time asking for help. It is hard for me to admit that I don’t have it all under control.

That is what God is teaching me through my best friend. To ask for help. To cry out. The Scriptures are filled with people crying out to God in their moment of desperation. This is so counter-cultural. To have to admit dependency.

We are all dependent in some fashion. We just don’t like to acknowledge it. I am learning to acknowledge that I am weak, but I serve a God who is strong. A God who is able to help me overcome all of my weaknesses. A God who loves me and allows me to remain:

Lost in Grace,

Marty
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